so here is my last of 3 14gram trips
for my second one you can see past post or look here https://jasonwettstein.1117.ca/just-thinking/magic-mushrooms-whats-life/
SO on the way AND from what I have determined the high is not the trip the point is the break through.
On my way to break. I layed a blanket on floor and hit my fuse box I wanted no electronic manipulation. Something I established on way in last few times was that music was attempting to redirect my thoughts. I went in with one purpose I wanted to go back to talk with our infinite self aka god.
Now god or a liar I am still not sure maybe just reaching another being, MAYBE my own psychosis
I was going and it was coming on hard. I put 14grm in a coffee grinder miked it with water and a little honey so it came on fast especially with empty stomach. On this side of break I saw my hands dripping into each other everything was insane digitally patterned and I melted into the floor. I am pretty sure this is when I pissed myself. I recall liquid running from my head and hands I remember some concern that I fell or something. likely from my first trip where I tell from top of stairs and could have fucked myself (DONT TRIP ALONE, or wear a seatbelt)
I was gone quik into a break with god me you US our infinite self we picked up where we left of less arguing. Now the scary thing was god has no off. apparently it/us made many fractal versions of life to not be alone. I screamed and yelled and I don’t think anyone heard anything from me and my scream were years long and time stoped. I no longer had to breath I said why AGAIN WHY it keeps coming back to all one ALONE!.
I found a calmness but it took a long time a struggle why why why long long screams very loud reminded me of matrix and demonic. and so beyond breath!
I sat up no one was in my house but it was not my home its was a place that seemed off interdimensionally darker still TIMELESS. Then my friend pops out and slides and pops into different places explaining IAM he tells me about shit i was putting together shit he doesn’t know…
“It’s the terror of knowing what the world is about
Watching some good friends screaming
‘Let me out'”
God is in all our art in all out music all our expressions are of god Our self is AS I SAID as god expressed “Like a rain drop you fall through time and land in the infinite ocean of US.”
I was sad, scared alone… HERE I was talking to myself! i was seeing both sides of my conversation again I was alone. WOW!
I have a hard time with recall but the essence of this trip was not bad I dont think there is such thing as a bad trip only a state of resistance and when you release and accept even INFINITE loneliness ain’t so bad hahah
one other observation ALL the light shows and magic are on both sides of the break AT LEAST for me I see all the crazy shit going there and coming out
anyway still 2 days later I have a hard time articulating and my brain needs time. I just felt it was something I needed to share with OURSELVES